Okay, okay, so my best years of matchmaking are behind me. My eyesight isn't too good and my aim is even worse. As a matter of fact, the last matchmaking mission I was sent on didn't go so well. Here's what happened: There were two perfectly matched single strangers sitting on a park bench on a glorious spring day. My orders were to make them meet and fall in love. I loaded my romance bow with the trusted passion arrow and fired at the guy. I hit him because he was a big target. Then I focused my aim on the lovely little lady but I missed her and hit the bench. Actually, it was pretty funny watching this rather large man passionately profess his love and fidelity to a park bench, but the lady kind of freaked out and called the police on him. Because of that fiasco I lost my matchmaking status in the Cupid Union.
However, there is still one upside for booking me to deliver a love missive: One look at me and your significant other will be compelled to swear an oath of committed love and fealty to you for all eternity. How can you go wrong with that?