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Chinchilla Von Swamp

In line with Live Wires' pursuit of fun and gaiety -- and our droll appreciation of the piquant -- we have successfully wooed and cooed and persuaded Chinchilla von Schwamp to grace our ranks.  Join us in savoring her various transformations . . .


Chinchilla was born in EmmerEssen, Germany, where she studied the classics and fell in love with the music of PDQ Bach.  She was the first to conduct (well, actually semi-conduct) the famous song cycle "Ich Habe Mich Ubergeben" by the famous bulimic composer, Ralph Offenpuke.  She unfortunately mimicked all his habits and at one time was 6'2" and weighed only 73 lbs.  By the time she regained her health and her normal 270 lb. weight, the artistic community had very strongly encouraged her to perform outside Germany because of her unique vocal styling.  There was strong consensus that such talent should be shared with the rest of the world.  She studied briefly (was it only two days?) with Anna Russell in England before receiving the Florence Foster-Jenkins scholarship at the University of Southern North Dakota at Rolla to study with the incomparable musicologist, Prof. Peter Shickely.


10-15 Min. Comic Roasting & Singing Performance - $200
20 Min. Enhanced Comic Roasting & Singing Performance - $250
30-60 Min. Enhanced Comic Roasting & Singing Performance - Specific Quote
Hourly Meet & Greet & Photo Ops with Optional 10-15 Min. Performances - Specific Quote


All right, she doesn't look a lot like Cher --  but even Cher doesn't look like Cher.

"Dame Edna"

No party is complete without Dame Edna!

"Judge Judy"

Justice with a quirk . . .

"Tina Turner"

Tina Turner as performed by Chinchilla.



Our ridiculous Seattle Nordic influence . . .

Glenda the Bad Bitch

Glenda the Bad Bitch

Apparently Glenda got out on the wrong side of bed this morning.

Mrs. Claus

Mrs. Claus

Mrs. Claus comes to us probably on a permanent "loan" from the lemon Drop Lounge at the North Pole.

Princess Kalakala

Princess Kalakala

Need some maritime disaster. . .?

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