THE GERIATRIC NURSE
Hi, I am The Geriatric Nurse. They call
me Mary Shots, R.N. because my syringe is so
big. I work for the Sunrise/Sunset Nursing
and Geriatric Rehabilitation Comfort Care Center
and I just love getting released to do house
calls. They let me out every once in
awhile and I come prepared with all my examination
tools. Budgets have been cut at Sunrise/Sunset
so I make do with a hammer, drill, saw, caulking
gun and a smidgeon of duct tape. But
I've paid for finer latex gloves out of my own
funds that far surpass the thick rubber ones
they supply. What the hell!? It
all works! I can discern corrupt and profligate
lifestyles and loose moral structure.
And that's when I pull out my 6-incher shot
and snap on that rubber glove! I love
my job . . . A little
singing and dancing often inspires total lifestyle
changes and cures most everything. If
those don't work, my extensive lab work and
research on the patient's history inspires rollicking
laughter -- and that's the best
medicine of all.
|
